So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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