i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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