im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
