Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
