My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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