so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
