o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
