dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I think i got beer on your cat.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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