dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
