Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
the raccoons are back...
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