you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
