My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
then he tried to convert me to islam
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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