I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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