I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Randomize