Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
