Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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