remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I have post one night stand depression
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
