Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Fuck appropriateness.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
