No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
