We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
