dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
