babies were throwing up all over the place
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
