I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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