i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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