He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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