she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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