How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She's the barista slut.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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