you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
