he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
