Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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