i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
