Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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