i just had sex bonerless
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
