I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
