Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
