So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
