Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
