You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
