every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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