i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
