I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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