i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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