just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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