my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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