Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
