How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
