Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
