I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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