Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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