I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
