This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
